Our still un-named puppy is spending a little more time in her crate! Lisa announced "I've had enough!" after cleaning up the latest mess on the carpet! (Note to our landlord: this is not the same "Bruce" who rented your house. That's another guy. This has nothing to do with him, so don't worry about anything.  P.S. The bathroom drain leaks a little bit.)

Anyway, don't worry, she's getting plenty of fun play time both in and outdoors, but not so much run-of-the-house unsupervised time, which was when the little surprises were popping up. Fortunately, she likes her cozy little dog crate, and naps happily in there. We're working on potty training by rewarding her with a treat when she "goes" outside!

Nap, play and somebody gives you a reward for going to the bathroom! Not a bad life, I'd say!

Okay, I'm not sure which one of you is clogging the toilet every single day, but let me tell you a few things: It's me who has to unplug it every time, and believe me, it doesn't look anything like this nice, clean clip-art picture by the time there have been 4 or 5 "dud" flushes.

I don't know what you people are doing that's causing this to happen, but let me count for you the exact number of times that I have plugged up a toilet in my entire life: Zero. Not once. Never. And yet a measurable portion of my adult life (maybe 10%) has been spent hunched over pumping and sloshing away at somebody else's disgusting mess.

So, beginning today, the following rules will apply:

1. Eat more fiber or smaller portions or something. Jeez!

2. You will be issued 5 (five) sheets of quality toilet tissue each day. That should be enough for anyone! Why do you need more than that?

3. New rule: You plug it, you un-plug it. Don't just walk away, and hope it will magically unclog the next time somebody else uses it.

4. Then clean it! Have you seen it after it's been plugged?

5. If the water is getting close to the rim, shut the water off! Either take the back lid off and pull up the float, or turn off the water valve underneath! Now!

6. I will give you each 1 (one) lesson on this long-lost art, using my years of expertise as my guide.

Okay, I'm done. I'd like to promise* you, once again that this will be my final blog post about toilets.

* "I'd like to" renders this promise pretty much meaningless.

One big lesson from our first couple days of puppy-ownership: Anything within snout-reach will be either chewed on or eaten, including the following:

Table legs

Rugs

Ants

Candy wrappers

Quilt my mom made, and

This $10.00 bill which was left on the coffee table! In this picture, I am trying to persuade her to give it back before it is either swallowed or completely shredded! What do you think she's thinking?

The big day finally came for our daughter, Lauren! Here's the beautiful puppy we got from a rescue this weekend!

We believe she's part Westie and part Maltese, and she's a happy, friendly little ball of fluff! As you can imagine, Lauren is thrilled, and keeps saying "I can't believe this is real!  Is this a dream?"

She seems to have adjusted to our home quickly, and has found a favorite spot to nap, under a chair. She's enjoying sniffing around investigating things, and loves being petted! We don't have a name for her yet, so I'll pass your suggestions on to Lauren, who has the final say in this sort of thing!

I am tired of these stupid ads that invade my computer every time I go online. How brain-mushed do web-ad people think we really are? By now we are smart enough to know that:

1. This woman is not from your area, and is not really making $5000.00 per week working from home.  She's a clip-art model.

2. No "strange loophole" will get you out of a traffic ticket.

3. There is no "frenzy" over a new diet pill.

4. A 47 year old man has not "angered" the power company with this "weird trick."

5. Trainers don't "hate" this super-photoshopped bodybuilder

6. Plastic surgeons don't "despise" this woman who is "55 but looks 25."

7. You will not learn a new language if several people put their hands on your head.

All these ads target the same stupid spot in everybody's brain that wants to believe that there's some super-easy trick to doing anything hard. Other people know some big secret, that somehow managed to stay a secret to everyone except the smart people who clicked on this cheezy web-ad! If only life was so easy! Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got pills to take to get me out of traffic tickets, and teach me Spanish.

Healthymealexperts.com lists the 10 "worst" foods, the foods they say are most responsible for weight gain, extra fat, diabetes, heart failure and general unhealthiness (please don't say Oreos please don't say Oreos..). They are:

white bread

potato chips

ice cream

canned fruit

soda

fries

frozen pizza

cinnamon rolls

cheesecake

bacon cheeseburgers.

Okay, well so much for everying else I like!!!